


Found & Lost

by moimoi_chan



Category: Banana Fish (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Angst, Ash Lynx Needs A Hug, Falling In Love, I made Ash a bit of a tsundere, Just flipping read this story in which I pour out my Banana Fish feels, M/M, Mutual Pining, Not A Happy Ending, Not Canon Compliant, Well - Freeform, Wrote this instead of h/w, but kinda, sorta - Freeform, unless death is happy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-05
Updated: 2019-10-05
Packaged: 2020-11-24 00:31:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,302
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20898686
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/moimoi_chan/pseuds/moimoi_chan
Summary: And somehow, being with Eiji is always where Ash feels more at home. Even here, in this abandoned building, blood running down his face.ORAsh and Eiji both need each other.





	Found & Lost

**Author's Note:**

> The opening still fucking makes me cry. So I shall write to forget. Not really to forget. Lessen it. Lessen the pain I still feel.

_Hurts. _

_There's a pain, blossoming near his hole, clothes abandoned near the door. Yet, after years of being his little toy, Ash thinks he will never get used to this feeling. The feeling of helplessness as someone else holds the reins of this body. _

_He hates it. Golzine is above him, sweaty and disgusting. He has never wanted to kill someone so-_

"Ash. Hey, _Assssshhhhh_" It's eight in the morning, and Okamura Eiji is put at gunpoint. Funny, because _where did that even come from_? He sweats nervously and holds both hands in surrender. The angry lynx has calmed, and the gun is lowered slowly. 

"There better be a good reason why we're up so early," He says dryly, and the wave of fondness that washes over him as Eiji smiles is _unbearable_. His hand fists itself on his thin tank and ignores the older man's questioning gaze. 

"I made breakfast! I think my American sausages are imp-"

"So I'm your guinea pig for poisonous sausage?" Ash thinks he's waking up now, sleepiness washed from his body. And what other choice does he have, with Eiji existing so _purely_ beside him?

"Ash!" His shoulder is swatted playfully and Eiji is pouting at him, so cutely-.

"Fucking hell, give me your stupid sausages" And Eiji grins triumphantly, which is dumb because _clearly_, Ash let him win. And actually, it's not that bad. 

Letting Eiji win, he means. Not the sausages, those _still_ taste like shit.

(_but he doesn't mind faking it for him_)

*  
*  
*

"You've gotta be more careful, idiot!" He scolds, wrapping the cut on Eiji's arm faster than the Japanese man can blink. Eiji can't really understand him if that makes any sense. He just hears phrase after phrase and _god_, since when was English spoken this fast? And Ash is bustling around the kitchen, picking up where Eiji left off, cooking and cleaning at the same time-. 

Eiji starts to cry, and he's ashamed that he's noticed so quickly. He wishes he could be like Ash, prickly, angry, strong and emotions all bottled up inside. 

"Dumbass, why are crying for?" Ash says, squatting down to his level, and damn Ash's sudden growth spurt. Their eyes meet, and Eiji looks away, ashamed. 

"I-I can't do _anything_right. Ash, you...you do _everything_. You keep us all _safe and alive_, and I admire _you_. And, sometimes I think, 'what use am I to you?" And Eiji knows he's rambling now, but God, Ash needs to know. 

He laughs pitifully, " I can't even make dinner, without you needing to rescue me" 

Ash glowers, "Shut _up_" 

It takes him by surprise, Ash using that tone of voice on him. The one reserved for his followers, or Max, or anyone who is Not Eiji. 

And even more surprising, the younger boys' arms are now around Eiji, encasing him in the best hug he's had in _years_. "I need you too. S-so don't you _dare_ think you're the only one who hurts!" 

Eiji's face is pressed into the crook of Ash's neck and he breathes in the sweet, sweet smell of home. His hands rise to circle his around back, and he smiles. 

(_and he's so grateful for that injury, the one he thought ended his life as he knew it. God gave him Ash, so he hopes he'll never take him away)_

*   
*   
* 

It's a party, which is really about the worse thing they can be doing right now. With Golzine's men still looking for them-

"Ash! Come play Plants vs Zombies with me! Michael is being a sore loser!" Eiji is sprawled on the couch, a bowl of chip-and-dip (prepared by Jessica) causally sitting at his feet. 

"Am not!" Comes the voice from little Michael, sounding very similar to that of a sore loser. And Ash very suddenly remembers the whole reason for doing this whole, 'get-together' anyway. Eiji had asked him too, and like everything Eiji asks, he receives. 

"Prepared to get your as-...._ahem_, your _butt_ handed to you, little man" Eiji flashes him a thumbs up at the 'save' and he can hear Max's overpowering laughter from the next room. 

The game gets heated soon, and now it's some sort of contest. And of course, there's really no prize.

Actually, he takes that part back. Eiji is there, alive. Max is here, little Michael in tow. 

(_how he wishes Shorter could have joined them. but he swears to the moon that not one more family member will die)_

*   
*   
* 

He can't keep pretending like this. And even though they've settled this, Eiji knows he can help. Ash is whimpering in his sleep, pleas falling from his lips. His forehead is furrowed with lines, and he dreams of something Eiji will never have the courage to ask about. It's the third night_ in a row,_ and Eiji will no longer wake to the Sun, to an Ash whose smile does not reach his eyes. And then he remembers. Remembers how peaceful he felt then, Ash's arms around him, face pressed into the scent of home. 

So Eiji Okamura does something that is definitely marked first on _Riskiest Things Ever_. He climbs into the bed and pulls Ash to his chest. The lynx is awake in an instant and honestly scares the _hell_ out of him. 

"What are you doing?" The voice is calm, but Ash's eyes are conflicted, showing the truth, reflected by the light of the moon. 

"Go back to sleep Ash, I've got you. I will _always_ have your back" Eiji's scoots down, makes himself comfortable, and Ash does the same. And Eiji wakes up to a tangle of limbs and absolutely no blanket whatsoever and really, he can't complain. 

(_and if they sleep like that for the rest of their days, tangled up in home and peace, then Eiji will die a happy man). _

_*_

_*_

_* _

God, Ash doesn't remember this helpless in _years_. His body is pressed underneath the mobster, whose green eyes are dark with obsession. He recalls his body hitting the cold cement, and Eiji running away, well dragged away by Golzine's men, screaming and pleading for someone who had long been gone. 

"You better not hurt him. I swear if you hurt him-" And Ash knows he's in no situation to be making threats, but he will warn Golzine anyway. 

"Calm down, my little lynx. _Behave_ like the good boy I know you are, and no harm befalls your lover" _Behave_. _Little lynx_. God, this man makes him sick. He thrashes underneath him, panic bubbling in his veins when he hears the familiar sound of a zipper undoing itself. And he roars, like the animal of his namesake, and then falls silent when a blade slices the pale ivory of his skin. 

"I'm...I'm going to kill you" He grits out, head lolling to the side from sheer lack of blood. 

"You will die a death of a thousand slashes of blade. And then the chapter of your life will end" Golzine promises, and then the next slash comes, deeper than the first. Ash's head spins. 

After the fourth, Ash has passed out, and he's glad he'll die this way, with the taste of Eiji's lips last on his tongue. 

(_no, not really. he would rather die, sent to hell with a warm smile from the man he knows he loves_)

*  
*  
*  
Oh, but he wakes up, and there's a warm body pressed up against his. There is the familiar smell of the hospital, and the underlining whiff of depression. There are soft black curls tickling under his nose, and the smell of home and eternal love greets him. 

Eiji catches sight of the the movement of the body above him "Ash! You're awake! God, I was so scared-" 

"Eiji" And Ash stares at the love of life and kisses him. 

**Author's Note:**

> I'm supposed to be doing rational equations right now. But of course, this opening has to play.


End file.
